Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
