Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
