Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
