I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
