There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize