Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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