This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
