Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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