If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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