If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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