Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
