It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
