I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I cockslap morals
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
