My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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