look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
