how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
