i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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