Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
