Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
