I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
