If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
