Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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