Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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