Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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