I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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