mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
