it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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