im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
