he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize