Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
barbara walters just said penis...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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