her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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