I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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