I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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