she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
