If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
