This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
