I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
