OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize