I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
