I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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