lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
