there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
They are going to name an STD after you.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
