I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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