Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
