My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do