i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize