No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY