Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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