ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
