You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize