No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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