I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
