What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
