Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize