why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
