What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
