hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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