I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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