worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
