The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
