I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
