Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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