I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
